Camps provide great opportunities for summer fun and learning; they are also intimate settings where children are in very close contact with other campers and staff. That’s why it is so essential to take a few minutes to talk with your children about Body Safety.
Research states that when children are threatened, those who have learned about body safety are more likely to use self-protection strategies and/or disclose the perpetrator's attempt to abuse. Many crimes against children may have been prevented if the child had learned body-safety strategies.
Language
At about 18 months, most children are capable of learning to name and identify their body parts. Be sure to teach ALL parts of the body, including labia, penis, scrotum, vagina, anus, and thigh. In order for children to prevent or discuss sexual abuse, children need to use accurate vocabulary and language to communicate issues related to their body.
Body Ownership
At about the age of 4 to 5, most children will be able to understand the concept of privacy. Be sure to explain to your children that some parts of our body are private and their bodies belong to them. A great place to begin this conversation is with children's books about body ownership like It's My Body by Lory Freeman or Your Body Belongs to You by inappropriate.
The No Touch Zone
At about age 4, teach your children the concept of the "No Touch Zone." The No Touch Zone includes the area of the body from waist to thigh, and for girls, the chest to thigh. Research has shown that teaching the "No Touch Zone" is an easier concept for a child to learn than what was being taught previously. This is because it outlines a specific area of their body and lists exactly who may touch this area of their body.
For many years, professionals taught body safety by reviewing "private parts," "down there," or the "parts covered by the bathing suit." The challenge with these concepts is they can be vague and confusing. The No Touch Zone requires caretakers to review the body parts in specific detail and emphasize that the No Touch Zone includes the area of their body from the waist to the knee. The reason why the No Touch Zone extends beyond the genitals is because the waist to knee is part of the erotic zone. Children need to know this area is also off limits to anyone who is not on the permission list.
Give Your Child a Permission List
When reviewing the No Touch Zone, it's important for your child to recognize exactly who is permitted to touch him or her in the area from waist to thigh. In our family, the list includes mommy, daddy, grandparents, and our pediatrician.
The Right to Say No
It is critical to talk to children about the right to say no and that they have the right to say no if they are being touched in any way that is not okay. Children should learn that they are allowed to say no to another child or adult. Have your child practice saying, "NO! Don't touch my (fill in the blank)" out loud and with conviction.
Telling Someone
An important skill for children to learn about body safety is to be able to identify the people they can talk to when something happens that makes them feel bad or uncomfortable. Talk to your children about the specific people in your family and exactly which adults or friends they can talk to if “not-okay” touches should occur. Have fun with this concept by drawing together the specific people who have been identified as people to go to for help.
Keeping Secrets
Not keeping secrets may be the most difficult concept for small children to understand. Be sure to emphasize that secrets someone asks them to keep and never tell are NOT okay. Explain to your children they do not need to keep secrets even of someone else says that they should and even if they promised.
Practice These Concepts and Skills With Your Child
Once you have introduced these concepts, be sure to review them by giving your child small scenarios and ask them how they would respond. Remember, it's our job as parents, professionals, and camp counselors to keep our children safe. Children cannot be held accountable for preventing sexual abuse.
Some of the information in this post comes from the following sources: Inoculating Your Child Against Sexual Abuse by Norman Friedman; Treating Sexually Abused Children by Esther Deblinger & Anne Heflin; and When Sex Is the Subject by Pamela Wilson.
About the Author
Mara Yacobi is a leading speaker and specialist in youth development and relationships. Drawing on her skills as a Licensed Social Worker and Certified Sexuality Educator, Mara's mission is to empower parents and young people with the knowledge and skills which are critical for health and developing positive relationships with peers. As the founder of www.Askmaranow.com and www.JLoveandvalues.com, she leads educational workshops and presents motivational speeches to thousands of students in middle schools, high schools, colleges, camps, youth groups, and agencies. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
About the Author
Mara Yacobi is a leading speaker and specialist in youth development and relationships. Drawing on her skills as a Licensed Social Worker and Certified Sexuality Educator, Mara's mission is to empower parents and young people with the knowledge and skills which are critical for health and developing positive relationships with peers. As the founder of www.Askmaranow.com and www.JLoveandvalues.com, she leads educational workshops and presents motivational speeches to thousands of students in middle schools, high schools, colleges, camps, youth groups, and agencies. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
