If I had a dollar for every person who said, “When my kids are ready for ‘the talk’ I’m sending them to you!”… Why? Well, not only am I a wife and mother of three, but I also happen to be a sexuality educator.
The questions our children ask—“Where do babies come from?” “How do they get in?” “How do they get out?” etc.—all deserve simple, honest answers from their caretakers.
So sit back, take a breath, and I’ll offer some guidance:
1. Take off the adult glasses: Children don’t have the years of experience or context to understand sex and sexuality from an adult perspective. The information they seek should be explained in simple, basic terms.
2. It’s never too early, and it’s never too late: Parents either fear they have missed an opportunity to talk about sex or think it’s too soon to introduce the topic of sexuality. However, sexuality is a lifelong process, and our children need accurate information about their bodies and relationships at each stage of development.
3. Books can be helpful in aiding conversations. Two of my favorite books for younger children are It’s Not the Stork and It’s So Amazing! by Robbie Harris.
Here are some simple answers to some very big questions:
Q. Where do babies come from?
A. I’m glad you asked! There’s a special place inside of a woman called a womb. It’s round and cozy, and that’s where the baby grows until it’s ready to come out.
Q. How do babies get inside?
A. Great question! A baby is made from an egg, which comes from a woman’s body and a sperm, which comes from a man’s body. When the sperm and egg meet, a baby can begin to grow.
Q. How do the sperm and egg meet?
A. Thanks for asking! The sperm comes out of the man’s penis. The woman has an opening called a vagina. When a man’s sperm goes inside a woman’s vagina, the sperm swims to the egg. Sometimes this happens when a man puts his penis into the woman’s vagina, but sometimes, a doctor introduces the sperm and the egg.
It’s important to note that babies come into the world in many different ways today: IVF, IUI, surrogacy and adoption. I want to honor and recognize the diversity of all families. This post is not meant to isolate anyone who had a non-traditional way of bringing a baby into the world. If you have any questions about how to talk about babies, birth and familial diversity, please email me for guidance and suggestions.
About the Author
Mara Yacobi is a leading speaker and specialist in youth development and relationships. Drawing on her skills as a Licensed Social Worker and Certified Sexuality Educator, Mara's mission is to empower parents and young people with the knowledge and skills which are critical for health and developing positive relationships with peers. As the founder of www.Askmaranow.com and www.JLoveandvalues.com, she leads educational workshops and presents motivational speeches to thousands of students in middle schools, high schools, colleges, camps, youth groups, and agencies. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
